


Through shapes and shadows

by twoheartsx



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Mentions of past abuse, Sleepwalking, This is mostly just Yut thinking about everything and how he feels, Yut-Lung is a sad boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-26
Updated: 2018-10-26
Packaged: 2019-08-07 18:30:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16413599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twoheartsx/pseuds/twoheartsx
Summary: Blanca is a liar because he’ll leave like everyone else. And Yut-Lung will be all alone on top of his broken empire.Inspired by butleronduty's amazing art!: https://butleronice.tumblr.com/post/179283172709/sleepwalk?is_highlighted_post=1





	Through shapes and shadows

**Author's Note:**

  * For [butleronduty](https://archiveofourown.org/users/butleronduty/gifts).



> This fic was inspired by Butleronduty's amazing art which you can find here
> 
> https://butleronice.tumblr.com/post/179283172709/sleepwalk?is_highlighted_post=1
> 
> The title of the fic comes from the song Her name is alice by Shinedown

Yut-Lung was snapped awake by the sound of Blanca’s voice yelling his name. He shook his head, looking around. The room was dimly lit, light from the open door seeped in and made the older man visible. He could see Blanca looked confused and a bit worried. Such an odd expression from the older man. Yut-Lung didn’t think he’d ever seen Blanca look like that. It filled him a small sense of pride that maybe he was the only one to pull that reaction from Blanca. The man was usually so stoic. He was calm and collected at all times. The idea of rousing some other emotion in him was a victory for Yut-Lung. 

“Sir, are you okay?” Blanca ask as he sat up. Yut-Lung started for a moment. Stared into those dark eyes that he’d dreamt of on more than one occasion. Those eyes that he wanted so badly to stir something, anything, in those deep eyes. An emotion or reaction, something. Anything at all. Just a bit of proof that Blanca was here, right now, for him. That for the very first time in his life someone was here for him. Someone cared for him. A hope he knew already would burn along with his entire bloodline.

“I’m fine.” Yut-Lung started. He wasn’t, but he wouldn’t tell Blanca that. Because as deeply as he desired, as bad as he wanted Blanca to care for him. To be that metaphorical knight in shining armor. He knew he didn’t. Blanca didn’t come here for him and he wouldn’t stay here for him. No one ever did and they never would. 

“Sit down.” Blanca ushered Yut-Lung to sit down. The Lee took a seat on the bed, feeling it dip under his weight, but barely. “You’re very light on your feet. No one's ever snuck up on me like that.” 

“I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.” Yut-Lung replied. He didn’t want to talk about how light he was on his feet. He didn’t want to think about the harsh training, the years of abuse he face to be light on his feet. It was a compliment, or meant to be one at least, but all Yut-Lung heard was a jab at his past. A past still fresh on every inch of his skin and still embedded in his soul. Yut-Lung wondered if he’d ever undo the damage done. If he’d ever not feel stung when someone commented on how light on his feet he was. If he’d ever not feel like vomiting when someone told him how pretty he is. 

“I got you some water.” Blanca responded and handed him a glass. The water was cold and Yut-Lung in his thoughts didn’t even notice Blanca leave or come back. Something that if his brothers were still here would have earned him a beating. Because he was being foolish and weak. Foolishness and weakness were not tolerated. Yut-Lung muttered a soft ‘thank you’ and sipped the water. It was quiet and for someone who grew up in silence and made the harsh quiet his whole being, it made him uncomfortable. For him nothing was good about being silent. It only reminded him of things he’d rather not remember. 

“Have you been getting enough sleep?” Blanca asked. Yut-Lung hated that the concern, as shallow as it may be, filled his chest with warmth. Yut-Lung faced him, eyes tired and said. 

 

“Snakes don’t need sleep.” He sounded exhausted, looked it too. He couldn’t remember the last time he didn’t wake up in a cold sweat, crying for a mother who’d he’d watched die. Every night he’d dream of his mothers screams as his brother took turns tearing her apart. Every night he sat tightly in his big brothers hold, watching and struggling against the older Lee. He’d wake up crying at the memory of his brothers mouth pressed to his ear, hot breath making him want to throw up, whispering. “You look just like your mother.” 

“Snakes need sleep too. Everything does.” Blanca stood up as he said it. “Now lets get you back to bed.” Yut-Lung set the glass on the bedside table and grabbed Blanca’s sleeve. 

“Can I stay here tonight?” Yut-Lung asked, voice breaking as he said it. He felt childish and stupid. He’d never asked anyone to stay before. He’d never had the chance to. He felt pathetic. Begging for the attention of someone who didn’t even care about him. “Please.” 

“I’ll stay right here. Just lay down, I won’t go anywhere.” Blanca gently lays him back, covering him up. Yut-Lung feels a slight blush come to his face and he hates it. He hates how Blanca makes him feel. Hates how he tears down the walls Yut-Lung placed so well. He built them strong and Blanca just breaks in. Yut-Lung rolls onto his side, sighing as he buries his face in the blankets. 

“I won’t leave you alone.” Blanca whispered, but he made no move to lay down and Yut-Lung already knew the man would be gone before sunrise.

His only thought is ‘liar’ as he closes his eyes and tries to fall asleep. Blanca is a liar because he’ll leave like everyone else. And Yut-Lung will be all alone on top of his broken empire. A top his throne made of thorns that will cut him up and leave him miserable. He’ll be like that forever.


End file.
